Harry Potter Anxiety, a real disorder

Not much to talk about today but Harry Potter. Yes, it's time for the last book to begin playing on the big screen. At midnight I will be viewing "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1" with my daughters and my Sarah's family. I am so tense about seeing these two movies. When I read the final book I sat and cried so many times. One day I took my break at work to read it in the filing room for privacy and I started sobbing so hard people came in to check on me.

Yes people, I AM aware it is just a book. It's fiction. I get it. But I read those books with my daughters and as they grew up, so did Harry, Ron, Hermione and the rest of the gang. I became attached to them, their stories, their little quirks. I identified with some characters (I think I have been fairly referred to as Mrs. Weasley more than once). I grew to love some teachers and respect some of the kids. I especially appreciated the themes of loyalty and friendship and the commitment to doing what is right no matter how difficult that can be. I think it was a wonderful series for my children and their friends to have as they went through adolescence and it certainly stands apart in how many people of so many different lifestyles were commonly drawn to this world of Hogwarts, muggles and familiars.

So please understand the deep sorrow I felt reading the last book in the series. I truly grieved for the inhabitants of this story to the core of my being. To this day I find I've blocked out some of the bad parts and can't bear to speak about others. Just mention the name of some poor unfortunate from the final chapters and I'm likely to tear up. I DO have a grip on reality. I DO understand the difference between fact and fiction. No really, I do. (Not sure if I'm trying to convince you or myself here.) But I know that these two movies will absolutely tear me apart again, even more so as it involves watching the actors I've grown to adore act out their pain and losses.

So what do I do? I can't NOT go see it. If nothing else, I've already bought the tickets and Ariana, Sarah and Angie are holding my place in line as I type. How could I go through every other step of this marvelous journey with my family and not complete the final steps?

So I'm going to go have fun in line. I'm going to get a huge kick out of the costumes. I'm going to sit back and enjoy all the kids who come. They are usually fantastic, funny, full of energy and sweet. I will revel in the glory of being in a group of fellow geeks and readers of fantasy. I will eat my popcorn and gasp and cheer with everyone else.

I will also bring a HUGE box of kleenex and not even bother to put on any make-up before I go. I'll see you guys tomorrow through swollen eyes and with not enough sleep. If you're going tonight, I hope we all have fun.

Now, with a wave of my wand and *POOF*