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Sunday, November 28, 2010

Being a victim is a life choice

You know what drives me crazy? Victims. No, not someone who is a victim of a crime or a child who is beaten. I am talking about the perpetual victim personality. There are whole sections of our society dedicated to keeping themselves in a victim status. And there are people who are born with victim DNA. There are also people born with a complete rejection of being a victim no matter how many times they find themselves victimized throughout life.

The moment you allow yourself to be classified as a minority and accept the very concept that you deserve preferential treatment - you have embraced victimization. You have given up your free will and your control over your own destiny. You have handed over the responsibility of you, as an individual, to succeed or claim your own attributes as the reasons for any success you might achieve. You have guaranteed a future where you get jobs, grants, scholarships, college acceptance, loans, promotions, houses, benefits, retributions because of affirmative action. You will be forever indebted to your benefactors for any success or gifts you receive. You will never be able to claim your own competence, intelligence, capability, resourcefulness, or ingenuity as the reasons for anything you achieve in life. Victimization has consequences.

Yes, you will never have to be responsible for anything you do wrong. Your benefactors will champion your right to be lowly, incapable of growth, poor, uneducated, violent, addicted and more. Isn't that fantastic? Wow, a whole system designed to make sure you never climb up, never think for yourself, never better yourself, never overcome your upbringing and environment. So, if you fall under this category, do you never question how a system that benefits from your low level, helpless, reliant personality could possibly be created to help you? If they get power and votes from your dependence, what possible reasons could they have for helping you actually become better, dominant and successful? If they get your vote and support from keeping you as lowly victims, what incentive do they have to let you out of your position as a helpless victim? None.

Liberals have been the ruling class in minority, beaten down districts for decades now. Not only have those districts not thrown off the mantle of repression - they have worsened over the years. Can you not see that they claim to represent you but they can only stay in power if you remain victims, minorities and powerless?

On the other side Conservative have been demonized as hating the disadvantaged on every level. And yet, if you look at this month's elections, the number of hispanic, female, gay and black people who were supported on their platform stances was overwhelming. And the Dems, liberals and "progressives" (not to mention the liberal media) all bashed every woman, gay, black and latino who ran for office with Tea Party support on the basis that they were stupid, racist, Judas back-stabbers to every other individual who fit their minority definitions. Really? They are people who want to succeed on their own merits. They have no desire to be indebted to anyone else for their future because they have figured out how to do it for themselves.

I am American Indian on 3 different fronts. My husband is on at least 2. Our children are gifted with all of those tribes.

We are also a family combination of Irish, Scottish, English and French Jew.

3 of us our women.

Jeff and I were molested.

I was abused physically, emotionally, sexually and psychically.

My father abused my mother, brother and me.

My step-father sexually abused my brother, my 2 step-brothers and almost all the boys I grew up with and loved. My mother married him after he was convicted on my first day of college and is still married to him today. He has has strokes which have made him completely incapable of buffering just in time for my brother to have a baby boy.

Here's my point. I have rejected preferential treatment of women for jobs, colleges, etc. since I was a teenager.

If you've been molested or abused - you are not a victim as a personality trait. Be pro-active and in charge of your life. If the asshole hurts you anyways, you have been victimized. This doesn't mean you have to be a victim as a personality.


I am bi-sexual, pagan, tattooed, abused, Amerindian, molested, poor most of my life, never got to finish college, started having kids at 19, white trash.

But I have educated myself. I homeschooled my girls. I reject the world of victimization even though others seek solace in it.

I'm bi-polar and so are both of my girls to different extents. Ariana is ADD and dyslexic. But we haven't asked for governmetn assistance, loans, and victimization papers.

I'm just saying that just because you have been treated like shit by family and society? Doesn't mean you get preferential treatment in real life. I've said since I was a child in the eighties that I didn't want to be given anything just because I was female. I don't want to be given anything because I was abused. I don't want people like me who have been abused to get off because we were victims who hurt others.

We are ALL responsible for our choices as adults. This is why I reject the entire liberal agenda. Who you are today is a choice on every level. Were your ancestors slaves, indebted servants, lower class? Who gives a shit? You are what you do in this world today. You are responsible for your own failures and successes.

The left say they want to champion you because of your skin color, gender, religion, immigration status, etc. They are called liberators.

The right says they want people to succeed because they believe in freedom, the constitution, individuality, justice and individual success. '

If you have a brain, which side do you really support? If you believe in people fulfilling their dreams, which side supports YOU?

Stop being victims. I have no sympathy for you. Make the world better or just go away. If you aren't made stronger by the thing that have happened to you than fade away into obscurity. You aren't worth anything and won't better our world.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Musings from a "betcha" kind of gal

Why do people hate Sarah Palin so much?

I understand if you disagree with her politically. Really I do. But the vitriol she attracts has really confused me from the very beginning. What creates such hateful, venomous rhetoric from people on both sides?

I'm not even saying that I want her to be the next President at this point. I'm not ruling it out mind you. I'm just not thrilled with her aligning herself with the Tea Party Express and supporting some GOP pushed nominees in this month's elections. The Tea Party is NOT the Express crowd, which really represents some GOP minded fundraisers who agree up to a certain point with Tea Party principles but still believe the establishment has all the answers. She is either naive doing this, too loyal to the GOP or sold out for the money. I don't know yet and I reserve my judgments for her future actions. One can only be judged by what they actually do, not just what they say. Until the past few months, I believed in her based on that criteria.

I also do not like her doing a travel documentary show for TLC or her short-lived show on Fox. I don't think it's proper for a politician to be in that role. I think they should be one or the other and she is so damn effective as a politician and speaker that I'm disappointed in her choices to follow the other paths.

See how my likes and dislikes of her are based in reason? Do you see how I can state my feelings with some criteria that makes sense?

Compare this to the rabid dislike of "the way she speaks". Really? Clinton rambled on in southern dialect and no one complained. (Bush's same dialect was ridiculed as he is a Conservative, at least in some areas.) Carter and his family couldn't put sentences together. Obama speaks in an accent he must have created for himself since it doesn't exist in Kenya, Hawaii or Chicago. I'm guessing it is IvyLeagian dialect since that is the only place people seem to speak in such a manner. He has none of the cadences so recognizable from Kenya OR Hawaii, despite having grown up in those two places. But hey, Sarah Palin sounds "weird".

You know what? I like her "betcha" vernacular. I find it recognizable and totally middle America. How do you decide on a political candidate based on making fun of her accent?

Do they hate her because she's pretty? God knows most liberals (Pelosi, Boxer, Waters) are on the horrifically deformed side. But we really criticize her for being attractive, athletic and a mother? We hate mothers now? Well, I guess if you support full-scale abortions and cleansing of undesirables (see Planned Parenthood and Eric Holder for 2 examples) then I guess we do.

I have seen Biden AND Obama make huge gaffes in their public speaking engagements. I mean, 4 speeches in a row our renowned President referred to the Army Corps as a group of dead individuals (corpses) repeatedly. Biden asked a disabled man to stand up. Our glorious leader said he'd been to all 56 states. And Palin is the moron? She's the inexperienced one?

Look, I don't think Bristol should have won DWTS. However, I think that the number of people who support her mom and her own life that voted for her shows more about the revolution happening in this country than even the November election could prove. I don't even agree with either of these mothers of young children being out without their babies so much and so often is a choice of motherhood I want to defend. But for crying out loud, judge them on something real, something you actually believe in. Stop name calling and repeating what the media and SNL tells you to think about them. Develop an independent thought.

She is a mother. She cares about the world her children will inhabit. She believes in the Constitution. She is real and Rissa and I totally identify with her personality and approach to life. We see ourselves in her. She takes the road less travelled at every turn. She chose life for her beautiful son with Down's Syndrome. She cannot be accused of racism (husband and children, bona fide American Indians, for the morons who don't get it), sexism or hating the poor since she herself has been there and done that. So in the absence of real criticism people attack with hatred and mindless malevolence that reeks of fear.

You know what? I think - no matter what they claim - liberals are more hateful to women candidates than any conservative has EVER been. I think the liberal media has attacked every woman on both sides of the aisle repeatedly. And if you're a woman and conservative? You must be destroyed. Oh wait. It's just like if you are a black conservative. Or hispanic conservative. Or gay conservative. You must be drawn and quartered for you prove that the liberals spew lies and manipulations when they claim to champion those groups. You cannot have your own mind and be any of those "minority", victimized people. They lose their power when you do that. They lose their credibility. They lose their ability to control. So they must attack you, the people they claim to defend, with more anger and animosity than they do any white, male, Christian candidate. People really should catch on eventually, right?

This is why I love the Tea Party movement. This is why I think we have started a revolution that will change this nation back to greatness from within.

And this is why I love Sarah Palin. In her we saw that greatness, that humanity, that we were lacking in all the McCains, Bush's, Michael Steeles and Colin Powells. Those of us who were inspired by her have surged forward to take back our party and with it - OUR COUNTRY. We're not affected by the name calling and the typical, liberal playbook. For crying out loud, when you are American Indian, pagan, tattooed, bi-sexual and standing between an Asian man and a black and hispanic couple and people scream RACIST at you at a Tea Party event you have to realize how full of bullshit the entire opposition is. WTF?

Thank you America. We can't get discouraged now. We're getting ready to change the world again.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Seasonal Starts

Well, tonight is late blogging and probably not very long. Of course, there is rarely a limit on my rambling capabilities.

I meant this blog to be more political. Yet considering the season I'm not that shocked that the personal is in the forefront right now. I am so easily affected by the holidays. It starts with Halloween with the costumes, candy and all the Day of the Dead traditions. We then shoot into Thanksgiving which is rich in meaning for my mother and myself with a whole new layer added by my children. Then we get tangled up in Christmas and with the lights, the charity, the good will and all the music I just get swept away. (My husband's birthday on the 16th and my mom's on the 24th certainly add to all the celebrations.)

So while I may have some other ranting and raving to do in the next few weeks, I'll probably be more of a mushy mess. Especially with little ones around to shop for. It's just too exciting for words. And we'll follow it up with Wednesday's 2nd birthday in early January. How much fun can one family have, really?

I can't wait to have a tree in our home. The girls will go over and decorate my mother's house with her. We can not wait for Wednesday and Jack to be old enough to join the older girls. Maybe our roof will get fixed before we get a tree and we'll be able to put it where I've always wanted it, next to the front door. I just think it would be exciting to have it where people can see it as they walk or drive past my house.

And in the meantime I just want to give money to everyone with a good cause at this time of year. Buying those meals in a bag at Henry's 3-7 times for each holiday. Stuffing money in the Salvation Army buckets. Donating a few toys to different groups for children. I know we don't have much money right now but we need so little compared to them. And so many people (including friends, one who used to let me "shop" for my kids at her house, Carol) have given us support and help in the past I can't help but wanting to give back. Okay, maybe I'm a sucker but I can't stand the thought of someone really being without what they truly need during this season.

And I'm like this even though it isn't a Christian tradition for me. It's American tradition and a time of the year when pagaan religions celebrated being able to live through the winter and gave thanks to the world. I don't really care where the traditions lie at this time of year. Just that, through all the cranky shoppers and drivers, there is this feeling of love and good will. After all, you aren't shopping for yourself at this time of year. You are asked to think of others and making them happy, even in the smallest ways.

So we will listen to the music, both new and old. I will remember the Christian songs and stories and relate them as a former minister's kid. We will feel warm and fuzzy and try to share it with as many people on this planet as possible.

Happy holiday beginnings, everyone. I hope this year is full of hope, love, friendships and family. May we all take this time of year to try to make our corner of the world a little bit better, a tiny bit happier.

Give love that you may receive the same. Bless you all.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

I am Thankful for......

What a fantastic Thanksgiving. All the food was yummy. Ricci's green bean casserole was delicious. My turkey was mostly moist (curse some of the white meat). Jack was delightful and then actually took a nap. Wednesday was sooooo cute and adorable and.....just......Wednesday. You can't meet her without loving her. That giggle. My heart is so full.

So with that in mind, I might have some things for which to give thanks.

I am thankful for:

my daughters and the relationship we share.
my husband finding a job in this recession before his other job ran out.
my brother finding a job in the same recession.
my mother being in good health.
my kitties.
my friends, both new and old. You sustain me.
my health, even though to some of you that may sound strange.
our ability to pay our own bills.
being so lucky to be in the lives of some (now grown) children that I've known since they were little.
my marriage and our life together.
having a roof (albeit leaky) over our heads.
knowing love in so many forms and feeling full of joy.
having so much to laugh about.
my girls being healthy and intelligent.
my brother and his family for moving back to San Diego and being with us today.
having a new stove that made cooking so wonderful this year.
so many fantastic books.
America waking up again.
my Tea Party friends and their support.
Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck for keeping me sane.
knowing where all 3 of my brothers are.
every day I have on this earth.

There. I feel like I've gotten as much as I can on this list in one sitting. We each shared a reason we're thankful at Thanksgiving dinner today (apparently Ricci and I both had wanted to do that, sweet!) but I kept coming up with more. It's been said that life is nothing without hope. I disagree. Life stops mattering when you have nothing for which to be thankful. Some days I am just grateful to be breathing. But I try to search for something every day and most days? I come up with a whole lot more.

So, where do your thanks lie? What do you celebrate and give thanks for every day? What brings you to your knees, just knowing you have it in your life?

Happy Thanksgiving. Good luck to you shoppers tomorrow. Everyone else - take a nap. Love you, friends. Peace out.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Tired and Thankful

Good grief I'm exhausted. I NEVER cook like this except for the holidays. I ache and I'm pretty sure I will sleep soundly tonight.

It really is fun, though. Baking with my girls all day long. Tasting each other's creations. Reveling in the aromas. Having a dreary, cold day warmed by a family sharing a kitchen. Rissa has a notebook where she copies down all of our recipes and experiments every year. It's kind of a kick to pull it out every year and use what has worked without having to worry about it and excitedly adding new recipes for the future.

We're like a little cheerleading team for each other on days like today. So helpful with flavors, supporting efforts, making it all work. It seems like my sister-in-law Ricci is really excited about everything tomorrow too. Our first Thanksgiving as a family. She's bringing green bean casserole (the reason I'm not making traditional greenie-beanies) and we LOVE that. And she's bringing the best part of course. Her family. I get my brother and his great smile and huge appetite, my Wednesday and her infectious giggle and huge personality, our little man Jack and those freaking dimples and Ricci, my wonderful sis-in-law that I am so grateful to have.

So everything is ready to go. There are some beautiful dishes waiting to be eaten. And a beautiful table waiting for a family to seat themselves.

And I'm so grateful. I am grateful for my family and my friends. I am thankful for my marriage. I am thankful for the roof over my head and having all my bills paid. I am grateful for being healthy this year for the holidays. I am thankful for my cats. And I am thankful to be an American, celebrating this day, and all the people who care about keeping an America where people are free to seek the dream.

Thank you George Washington for declaring this holiday. Giving thanks is an important function of the human soul. Without gratitude we are not truly alive.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all! Stuff your faces and have a happy day!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Time of Year

Maybe I picked a bad time of year to begin a blog. I'm certainly not keeping my daily quota as of yet. It's certainly a busy and stressful time to try this.

But it's a wonderful time, too. Traditions, food, family, love. We get to feed Wednesday her first devilled egg. Ariana is dying to put olives on the ends of her fingers and take pictures. The pie ingredients are ready for tomorrow, the eggs have been boiled and are cooling and the cranberries are sitting on the counter waiting to get "sauced". (Come on, had to throw in a wine joke.)

We'll get really full and play some games and just when you think you can't take anymore - DESSERT! We will watch football and my mother and I will try not to trip over each other in her kitchen.

We will (if we've planned well enough) come home with enough leftovers to roll in all weekend. I will eat enough cranberry sauce to keep me healthy all year long. We will be sleepy and happy and curl up to watch tv under blankets.

Oh yes, and while most of you are out there celebrating Black Friday I will be nowhere near a mall. I wish you all the best bargain hunting but you won't catch me in that madhouse. I will hopefully get to see Philip for a little while. Maybe we'll make it to "Megamind". I've been dying to see that. My husband has all four days off and hopefully he won't hear from a customer the whole time. Now THAT would be something to make us thankful.

And then, the best part starts. Christmas music, people putting up their lights and thinking about other people as you plan for that beautiful holiday.

Maybe I actually chose a good time of year to start a blog. It's certainly not boring and there is so much for which to be thankful.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

So TSA can molest children in public now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSQTz1bccL4

No really. That's how I want to open with this. A ten year old boy who went through the metal detector and didn't set it off is "randomly" chosen for a.....wait for it.......STRIP SEARCH.

In the video you see the child's father trying to help his son cooperate, standing with him to protect him and trying to get him to raise his arms for them. I commend him. I know he felt this was the best he could do for his son.

But for me it isn't good enough. Not. Even. Close. What parent stands there and tries to make it easier for someone to molest their child? That guy who said last week that if it wasn't the government doing it we would consider it sexual assault was correct. But take that and apply it to a child? That boy experienced humiliation, violation of his privacy, public exposure and emotional rape. I would never allow anyone to touch my daughters that way when they were kids. Not sure I would allow it now. Is this really preferable to profiling? Really? I have no guarantee that the TSA agent has no pedophile tendencies. Do you?

I read a story earlier that a few weeks ago a Denver TSA official was caught masturbating while watching full body screenings of teenage girls. I couldn't find a reputable source to confirm this but it is truly within the realm of possibilities with the rules we have in place. Do you want someone looking at your naked body for no reason? Do you want your teenage child viewed on the scanner or touched intimately by a TSA agent? I have to believe that most people/parents want nothing of the sort - no matter where they stand on politics. (Mental reference to Sting's song hoping the Russians love their children too.)

We live in a world where teachers and parent volunteers are told not to hug students/children under any circumstances because it could be viewed as inappropriate touching. But we should stand by and let TSA agents have carte blanche with our bodies and those of our children? I'm sorry but I would like to challenge the mental state and sexuality of the individual who actually CHOSE to pull a child out of line with no provocation and pat him down. I'm disgusted. I really feel sick to my stomach.

As many of you know, I am a survivor of child abuse, including molestation. I have spent my life trying to advocate for children (my own and others) and try to make kids feel safe. I have tried to let them have a voice and a safe place to strengthen them. I have helped parents stop abusing and I have held many kids while they cried. I want nothing more than a world where children are finally safe. Where adults don't take advantage of them, abuse their weakness, treat them like punching bags. Where their trust isn't violated nor is any part of their body.

And the freaking government wants to do this? They can molest a child but heaven forbid we pull a young adult, Muslim male (the profile for almost every terrorist attack in the past 2 decades) and search him. We wouldn't want to offend the Muslim, terrorist, anti-American crowd, right? The ACLU would have a field day. But I don't see the ACLU, Jesse Jackson, NOW, ACORN or any other "champion of the people" organization stepping forward here. Now ask me if I'm surprised.

So I guess we've decided that molesting children in public while their parents stand by and try to minimize the damage but still fully allow it to happen is preferable to being politically incorrect. Congratulations America. You've reached a new low. (And yes, I know Republicans are partly to blame. That is completely beside the point.)

(For the record, if it had been my child? I would have called in cops, security, child protective services, a lawyer and the local DA. We would ride in the back of a U-Haul before I allowed a child I loved to endure that humiliation. It would not happen.)